When something isn't going the way you want it to go, do you tend to blame other people? Is it someone else’s fault you feel and react the way you do?
Not intending to over generalize, but it seems common to apply blame when in an unfavorable situation. You make me mad. You hurt me. If only they would …then I wouldn't be so upset right now.
- What about my thoughts is contributing to this situation?
- What do I believe about myself or others that might be making this a negative situation?
- Am I being true to my values (maybe that’s where the discord is being generated—an incongruence)?
- How do my feelings about myself, the people involved or the situation influence how things are playing out?
- Do I have uncommunicated expectations that are causing some of the discomfort I’m experiencing?
If we can be aware of our own reactions and the underlying causes for them, we may be better equipped to handle and work through unfavorable situations. When we are aware enough to know what we really want and what we really feel, then we are better able to make action steps to change the situation.